The Humanist Association of Orange County ( HAOC) is a chapter of the American Humanist Association.
Please visit our website at http://www.ochumanists.org

HAOC Board
President: Pete Anderson
Vice President: Dave Silva
Treasurer:.Harry Becker
Secretary: Jerry Parks
Member at large: Carl Mariz
Member at large: Benito Franqui

NO MEETING THIS MONTH
There will be no HAOC meeting this month.

NEXT CFI-WEST MEETING  ( Costa Mesa )
Sunday, January 16, 4:30 p.m.
( $6.00 or free for Friends of the Center )
Ray Hyman:
“Why Smart People Can Be So Stupid”

Can someone be both smart and stupid?  And if so, how does it happen, and under what conditions? This lecture is a look at how highly respected people like Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, the creator of Sherlock Holmes, came to believe in fairies, or how Dr. Gary Schwartz, professor at the University of Arizona can believe that mediums can actually communicate with the dead.

Ray Hyman is professor emeritus of psychology at the University of Oregon and one of the giants of skepticism. He has spent a lifetime working with people like James Randi, Joe Nickell and others to shine the light of truth on paranormal claims. He'll sign copies of his book Elusive Quarry after the program.

2004: THINGS TO FORGET
( From http://www.alternet.org/columnists/story/20856/ )
By Arianna Huffington. Posted December 28, 2004.

It was a year full of memorable events, but here are some worth forgetting. While so many year-end publications focus on what we should remember about the year now grinding to a close, I'd like to continue this column's contrarian tradition of pointing out the things we'd all be better off never having cross our minds again.

Here then is a list of all the things I'd like to forget, circa 2004: 

Bernard Kerik's nanny. Bernard Kerik's Ground Zero love nest. Bernard Kerik. 

That the woman who dismissed a presidential briefing entitled "Bin Laden Determined to Strike in U.S." as a "historical" document is going to be our next Secretary of State. 

That a man who finds the Geneva Conventions "quaint" is going to be our next Attorney General. 

Janet Jackson's briefly exposed right boob. 

That it took 14 months and public protests from the victims' families before the president okayed the 9/11 Commission, but only 2 weeks before the first hearings were held on Janet Jackson's boob.

That the media thought "Don't be economic girlie men" was a great line. 

Scott Peterson's love of golf. And that his lawyers thought it was a reason he shouldn't be sentenced to death. 

Paris Hilton's new perfume. Paris Hilton's new album. Paris Hilton's new book. Paris Hilton. 

"Surviving Christmas," "Jersey Girl," J-Lo: Ben Affleck goes 0-for-2004.

 Madrid, Spain, March 11, 2004.

 Beslan, Russia, September 3, 2004.

 That the Federal budget deficit hit $413 billion this year, and two-thirds of it is the result of Bush's tax cuts.

 That Dick Cheney is talking about another round of tax cuts.

 What Colin Powell did to his credibility. "You break it, you live with it for the rest of your life."

 "I actually did vote for the $87 billion before I voted against it."

 That picture of Lindy England holding the leash.

 The way the administration tried to sweep Abu Ghraib under the rug.

 William Hung, recording artist. 

Ashlee Simpson, lip synch artist.

Bob Dylan, lingerie salesman. 

That George Tenet, who knew that the intel on Iraqi WMD was thinner than Lara Flynn Boyle on Dexatrim, turned into the Dick Vitale of WMD: "It's a slam dunk, baby!" 

That George Tenet was subsequently awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the nation's highest civilian honor. 

That a ten-year-old grilled cheese sandwich allegedly bearing the likeness of the Virgin Mary sold for $28,000 on eBay. 

The 10,000 Web remixes incorporating The Dean Scream. 

That of the roughly 550 enemy combatants held captive in Guantanamo Bay only four have been formally charged.

The Pistons/Pacers basketbrawl. 

The looks on George and Laura Bush's faces when Dr. Phil asked them about the "epidemic levels of oral sex" in America's middle schools. 

That Osama is still on the loose – and releasing tapes. 

That the Kyoto Protocol was ratified – and we aren't part of it. 

That Ken Lay has still not gone to trial or served a minute in jail. 

That 35.9 million Americans live below the poverty line – 12.9 million of them children. 

That 42 percent of Americans still think Saddam Hussein was "directly involved in planning, financing, or carrying out" the 9/11 attacks. 

That, thanks to presidential cutbacks, we actually have fewer police and first responders on the streets today than we had on 9/11. 

Star Jones' wedding.

The Movie Multiplex From Hell: Alexander, My Baby's Daddy, Thunderbirds, Sleepover, Around the World in 80 Days. 

The iPod Party Mix From Hell: Jessica Simpson's "Take My Breath Away," William Hung's "She Bangs," Britney Spears' "Toxic," Britney Spears' "My Prerogative," Britney Spears' "I've Just Begun Having My Fun". 

That Secretary of Defense Rumsfeld couldn't find time to personally sign letters of condolence to the families of troops killed in Iraq. 

That Deputy Defense Secretary Wolfowitz couldn't remember the number of soldiers who'd lost their lives in Iraq. 

Drilling for oil in ANWR (I've been desperately trying to forget this one since 2001 but the White House just won't let me!).  

THE TRUE SPIRIT OF X-MAS
Ole Anthony ( http://www.somareview.com/oleanthony.cfm  ) seems to be one of the relatively few who really understands what the X stands for:  

"The most absurd remarks made about Anthony on "Scarborough Country" were that he’s targeting televangelists just to draw attention to himself. Buchanan, Burkman, and Joyce all accused him of this, pointing out that Anthony has received national media coverage, including a lengthy profile by Burkhard Bilger in the December 6 issue of The New Yorker. The charge is ridiculous because Anthony is hardly out for himself. He has taken a vow of poverty, has no retirement plan, and earns $55 a week, plus room and board, for God’s sake. If there was one media whore on that program, it wasn’t Ole Anthony. 

The New Yorker profile offered better insight into who Anthony is and what his faith is about: 

Religious conversions, like rock-star documentaries, nearly always follow the same pattern: the skyrocketing success and riches without fulfillment, the fall from grace and the rise to new heights on the wings of faith. In Anthony’s case, that plot has been acted out in reverse: he found religion at the pinnacle of his career and has grown steadily poorer since. God’s purpose, he believes, is not to ease our pain or to answer our prayers but to strip us of all expectation—to reveal the hollowness of our existence so that we might sacrifice our lives for others, as Christ did. True faith, Anthony says, takes us as low as we can go." 

The role of whistleblower is almost always a thankless one. More and more, it seems like we have gone through the looking glass and entered Alice in Wonderland.

BILL MOYER'S UNEXPECTED SPEECH
These remarks were made by journalist Bill Moyers in accepting an award from the Center for Health and the Global Environment at the Harvard Medical School:  

"As difficult as it is, however, for journalists to fashion a readable narrative for complex issues without depressing our readers and viewers, there is an even harder challenge – to pierce the ideology that governs official policy today. One of the biggest changes in politics in my lifetime is that the delusional is no longer marginal. It has come in from the fringe, to sit in the seat of power in the Oval Office and in Congress. For the first time in our history, ideology and theology hold a monopoly of power in Washington.  

Theology asserts propositions that cannot be proven true; ideologues hold stoutly to a world view despite being contradicted by what is generally accepted as reality. When ideology and theology couple, their offspring are not always bad but they are always blind. And there is the danger: voters and politicians alike, oblivious to the facts.    

..............................................................................................................................................

One-third of the American electorate, if a recent Gallup poll is accurate. In this past election several million good and decent citizens went to the polls believing in the rapture index. That's right – the rapture index. Google it and you will find that the best-selling books in America today are the 12 volumes of the Left-Behind series written by the Christian fundamentalist and religious right warrior, Timothy LaHaye. These true believers subscribe to a fantastical theology concocted in the 19th century by a couple of immigrant preachers who took disparate passages from the Bible and wove them into a narrative that has captivated the imagination of millions of Americans. 

Its outline is rather simple, if bizarre (the British writer George Monbiot recently did a brilliant dissection of it and I am indebted to him for adding to my own understanding): once Israel has occupied the rest of its "biblical lands," legions of the anti-Christ will attack it, triggering a final showdown in the valley of Armageddon. As the Jews who have not been converted are burned, the Messiah will return for the rapture. True believers will be lifted out of their clothes and transported to heaven, where, seated next to the right hand of God, they will watch their political and religious opponents suffer plagues of boils, sores, locusts, and frogs during the several years of tribulation that follow. 

I'm not making this up. Like Monbiot, I've read the literature. I've reported on these people, following some of them from Texas to the West Bank. They are sincere, serious and polite as they tell you they feel called to help bring the rapture on as fulfillment of biblical prophecy. That's why they have declared solidarity with Israel and the Jewish settlements and backed up their support with money and volunteers. It's why the invasion of Iraq for them was a warm-up act, predicted in the Book of Revelations where four angels "which are bound in the great river Euphrates will be released to slay the third part of man." A war with Islam in the Middle East! is not something to be feared but welcomed – an essential conflagration on the road to redemption. The last time I Googled it, the rapture index stood at 144 – just one point below the critical threshold when the whole thing will blow, the son of god will return, the righteous will enter heaven and sinners will be condemned to eternal hellfire. 

So what does this mean for public policy and the environment? Go to Grist to read a remarkable work of reporting by the journalist, Glenn Scherer – "The Road to Environmental Apocalypse." Read it and you will see how millions of Christian fundamentalists may believe that environmental destruction is not only to be disregarded but actually welcomed – even hastened – as a sign of the coming apocalypse. 

As Grist makes clear, we're not talking about a handful of fringe lawmakers who hold or are beholden to these beliefs. Nearly half the U.S. Congress before the recent election – 231 legislators in total – more since the election – are backed by the religious right. Forty-five senators and 186 members of the 108th congress earned 80 to 100 percent approval ratings from the three most influential Christian right advocacy groups. They include Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist, Assistant Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, Conference Chair Rick Santorum of Pennsylvania, Policy Chair Jon Kyl of Arizona, House Speaker Dennis Hastert, and Majority Whip Roy Blunt. The only Democrat to score 100 percent with the Christian coalition was Senator Zell Miller of Georgia, who recently quoted from the biblical book of Amos on the senate floor: "the days will come, sayeth the Lord God, that I will send a famine in the land." he seemed to be relishing the thought. 

And why not? There's a constituency for it. A 2002 TIME/CNN poll found that 59 percent of Americans believe that the prophecies found in the book of Revelations are going to come true. Nearly one-quarter think the Bible predicted the 9/11 attacks. Drive across the country with your radio tuned to the more than 1,600 Christian radio stations or in the motel turn some of the 250 Christian TV stations and you can hear some of this end-time gospel. And you will come to understand why people under the spell of such potent prophecies cannot be expected, as Grist puts it, "to worry about the environment. Why care about the earth when the droughts, floods, famine and pestilence brought by ecological collapse are signs of the apocalypse foretold in the Bible? Why care about global climate change when you and yours will be rescued in the rapture? And why care about converting from oil to solar when the same god who performed the miracle of the loaves and fishes can whip up a few billion barrels of light crude with a word?" 

Because these people believe that until Christ does return, the Lord will provide. One of their texts is a high school history book, America's providential history. You'll find there these words: "the secular or socialist has a limited resource mentality and views the world as a pie ... that needs to be cut up so everyone can get a piece." However, "the Christian knows that the potential in God is unlimited and that there is no shortage of resources in god's earth ... while many secularists view the world as overpopulated, Christians know that God has made the earth sufficiently large with plenty of resources to accommodate all of the people." No wonder Karl Rove goes around the White House whistling that militant hymn, "Onward Christian Soldiers." He turned out millions of the foot soldiers on Nov. 2, including many who have made the Apocalypse a powerful driving force in modern American politics." 

THROWING OUT THE BABY WITH THE BATHWATER
by Benito Franqui 

Martin Luther proposed the doctrine of salvation through faith only ( absolutely no works necessary ). He did so because he was rightly incensed by the abuses of the Catholic authorities having to do with the sale of indulgences. With his unqualified, total dismissal of the importance of works, Luther helped to foster strife and hatred among different groups. After all, if kindness towards others is not necessary for salvation, why try to settle disputes peacefully instead of through violence? 

What Luther failed to see was that he should have distinguished between two kinds of works: 

1. Helping the Catholic priesthood to maintain its privileged position.
2. Helping needy individuals directly ( without any clerical or other middlemen being involved ). 

He should have said that only the first kind of works is unnecessary for salvation. Unfortunately, he let his anger cloud his vision, and he overreacted.  So he threw out the baby with the bathwater. And the new priesthoods ( now called ministries ) were not much better than the old.

But aren't we also sometimes guilty of doing the same thing? In our zeal to uphold factual truth, don't we sometimes fail to distinguish between what is true and what is good? In particular, do we lump all Christians together, ignoring the huge difference between those who believe that doing good works is much more important than splitting theological hairs, and the Biblical literalists? We should embrace any opportunity we have of working with - not against -the former kind of Christians ( individuals such as Ole Anthony, Bill Moyers, and Jimmy Carter ). Otherwise, we will be less effective than we otherwise could be when trying to make this a better world. Humanists should perhaps be more concerned with compassion than with truth.

ON THE LIGHT SIDE
( This section comes to you courtesy of the Humorist Association of Orange County. Interim President: Ducky M, Interim Vice President: Ducky M, Interim Secretary: Ducky M, etc, etc... Candidates for more permanent board positions are now being actively sought by... you guessed it! )  

The HAOC motto
We would like you to laugh with us - but if that's too much to ask for, then perhaps at least you'd be willing  to laugh at us.  

The ethnicity, nationality, and gender of Jesus
Recently, at a theological meeting in Rome, scholars had a heated debate on this subject. One by one, they offered their evidence........ 

THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS MEXICAN:
1. His first name was Jesus.
2. He was bilingual.
3. He was always being harassed by the authorities.

But then there were equally good arguments that.... 
JESUS WAS BLACK:
1. He called everybody "brother".
2. He liked Gospel.
3. He couldn’t get a fair trial.

But then there were equally good arguments that.... 
JESUS WAS JEWISH:
1. He went into His Father’s business.
2. He lived at home until he was 33.
3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin, and his Mother was sure he was God.

But then there were equally good arguments that.... 
JESUS WAS ITALIAN:
1. He talked with his hands.
2. He had wine with every meal. 3. He used olive oil.

But then there were equally good arguments that.... 
JESUS WAS CALIFORNIAN:
1. He never cut his hair.
2. He walked around barefoot.
3. He started a new religion.

But then there were equally good arguments that....
JESUS WAS IRISH:
1. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He loved green pastures.

But perhaps the most compelling evidence..... 
THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS A WOMAN:
1. He had to feed a crowd at a moment’s notice when there was no food.
2. He kept trying to get the message across to a bunch of men who just didn’t get it.
3. Even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was more work to do.....

-- Anonymous 

DUCKYISM 101 

What is Duckyism?
Duckyism is a philosophy, worldview, perspective, opinion, or plain nonsense concocted by Ducky M. It's up to others to determine how Duckyism should be classified, and what its true value or lack of it may be. 

Who is Ducky M?
That's a deep philosophical question that Ducky M is still pondering. The fact that Ducky M's opinions are shifting all the time makes answering this question quite difficult. 

What does the "M" in "Ducky M" stand for?
It was added to "Ducky" in order to make unique Ducky M's username on ezBoards ( a network of online message boards ). It was originally intended to stand for "Mandarin", which Ducky M understood is the most beautiful variety of duck. But it may also be thought to stand for "Mad", "Misinformed", "Misguided", etc.

What is your ulterior motive, axe to grind, or vested interest behind your invention of Duckyism?
The desire to promote IHMPPPs which others may find useful. 

What is an IHMPPP?
Here's an example: 

Al Cohol and the IHMPPP method 

Beware of Al Cohol, the covert terrorist! The false Messiah who, in its many guises, promises instant Nirvana - instant deliverance from all of our troubles - and delivers instead head-splitting hangovers, vomiting, ruined livers, impaired coordination, impaired vision, hallucinations, nightmares, impaired memory, impaired judgment, unwanted pregnancies, dysfunctional families, ruined careers, low self-esteem, feelings of guilt, fits of anger and depression, suspended licenses, mangled bodies, and early trips to the grave. 

And who is Al Cohol? Not just the substance technically known as ethanol, but any substance or destructive behavior which poisons our bodies or minds : narcotics, stimulants, steroids, gambling, reckless driving, derogatory expression, vandalism, physical aggression. Ducky holds that most destructive behavior is ultimately also self-destructive. 

In order to combat the depredations of Al Cohol, we must first reveal his presence, anywhere he might be hiding, to his unwary victims.  

One way to do that is via the IHMPPP method. 

IHMPPP        means Intrinsically Harmless, Meaningless, Powerless Pixel Pattern
Intrinsically    means all by itself, on its own
Harmless       means causing no harm
Meaningless   means having no meaning
Powerless      means having no power
Pixel              means a picture element - a luminous dot on a TV,
                     movie, computer, or video game screen,
                     or an ink dot on paper
Pattern           means a collection spread out in time and space 

The IHMPPP method is intended to lead the practitioner to the realization that an IHMPPP is just an IHMPPP! Surprisingly, because of primitive instincts inherited from our remote past, this realization is far from trivial! If we really had it, nothing capable of being displayed on a TV screen ( for example ) - no possible combination of text and pictures - would disturb us in the least. We would fully understand that until we choose to assign a particular meaning to an IHMPPP, it remains just that - and that therefore we have complete freedom in choosing when and how to respond - or not to respond - to any IHMPPP. No feelings of fear, anger, anxiety, thirst, lust ( etc ) would ever arise in us - unless our higher cortex had already determined that, under its control, those feelings would be serving a beneficial purpose. No knee-jerk reactions could ever occur. We would cease to behave like Pavlovian dogs. A paper tiger would instantly be recognized as such - our response would not be colored in the least by past encounters of our remote ancestors with real-life saber-toothed tigers. We would be immune to all the enticements appearing on commercial TV ( in particular, those ubiquitous beer commercials! ) 

What I have just described constitutes the first phase of the IHMPPP method. Once this first phase has been mastered, the definition of "IHMPPP" is broadened to include sound bites as well as pixel patterns. Mastery of this second phase can be demonstrated, by example, by being able to witness The Passion of the Christ with true compassion, yet in complete control of our emotions. 

Finally, the definition of "IHMPPP" is broadened once again to encompass all sensory experience. At this stage, it is realized that "IHMPPP" is just a synonym for the "maya" or "samsara" ( delusion ) of Eastern philosophy. 

All that the above amounts to is taking advantage of the modern development of "virtual reality" as an aid for the mastery of the "real reality". In the East, the IHMPPP method would be regarded as just one more instance of "skillful means" being used to achieve liberation from human bondage. 

Disclaimer: This is an Intrinsically Harmless, Meaningless, and Powerless Pixel Pattern - but the way you respond to it may reveal something about your maturity - or your insecurity. 

What are some other examples of the IHMPPPs which you are promoting? 

Some of these fall under the category of Weapons of Mass Instruction and are intended to be used in the perennially ongoing War on Error. They are equipped with an antique but still sharp, imported from India, Sword of Discrimination which is intended to pierce the Veil of Delusion. WMIs are also booby-trapped with Loaded Questions which may jolt those who touch them - thus perhaps shocking them into using again some of their long-dormant neurocircuitry. They are intended to transmute the diabolic into the symbolic by helping us to discard the misperceptions and misunderstandings which divide US.

Here are some others: 

Pledge of Allegiance
Please repeat after me:
"I pledge allegiance to the cause of Truth, recognizing that it is the only source of True Power and True Freedom. I renounce tribalism in all of its myriad forms, recognizing that they are all the result of fear, ignorance, and superstition. I extend compassion to all sentient beings according to my best knowledge of their relative degree of sentience. To refine my knowledge and compassion, I will conscientiously make use of a reliable baloney detector and a reliable moral compass provided to me, free of charge, by my local school district". 

What you should and should't do
by God
Don't tell me what to do. In particular:
Don't tell me to bless only some of my children.
Don't tell me to help you with wars of your own making.
Do listen to what I have to say by stilling your mind in meditation.
And do act on what I tell you.
And don't worry too much if your actions, through no fault of your own, are not successful. I'll understand.
And next time you hold a debate about my existence, don't declare a winner of that debate. Let me decide who the winner was. 

My Priorities
1. Keep myself from falling apart
2. Keep my local tribe from falling apart  ( note: fortunately, my local tribe doesn't believe in tribalism )
3. Keep my skeptic/humanist community from falling apart
4. Keep my nation from falling apart
5. Keep my world from falling apart 

My glue and scotch tape consist of meditation and humor. Anybody wants to join me?  

Guess what the answer to the following question should be:
Near the end of our rope, should we hope that some dope ( or some pope ) will help us cope? 

HAPPY NEW YEAR!   

 

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